leonelhjhaley's Space http://leonelhjhaley.posterous.com Most recent posts at leonelhjhaley's Space posterous.com Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:28:00 -0800 {Help recover my marriage | Helpful Guidelines to save your matrimony| Tips to Save Marriage|How to Save Your Marriage When It's Not Going Well | Marriage Saving Guidelines. http://leonelhjhaley.posterous.com/help-recover-my-marriage-helpful-guidelines-t http://leonelhjhaley.posterous.com/help-recover-my-marriage-helpful-guidelines-t From almost every corner of the world, the desperate cry of "save my marriage" is being heard.Although the husband and the wife entered into marriage in search of happiness and fulfillment, they are heard making this desperate cry.The matrimonial ship was launched in troubled waters, therefore, it started sinking immediately after it started sailing.However, due to the strong desire to save the marriage, many people make the cry amidst all the troubles and disappointments of unfulfilled dreams and promises. You find yourself in a state of denial since it is hard to admit to a marriage gone badly.Nobody would really like to admit failure. You therefore hope and pray that the dying love will be rescued anyhow.
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Like almost everything else that you engage in, marriage should have some rules. If you are expected to play the game, how can you do it if you don't know the rules? Without any rules and experience, husbands and wives are thrown into this important field of marriage which is much more important than any game and told to play. Most learn more quickly than others by doing Some just decide to go home and pick up their marbles when they don't like the game. Others though not liking the game and having fun at all continue to play. They by rolling the dice dutifully hope that the right numbers will come up and the game will improve. Perhaps it would be good if you were given your marriage license accompanied with an outlined sheet of marriage playing rules. The couple would be required to acknowledge that the aforesaid rules will be observed after reading and understanding them and then affixing their signatures at the bottom.
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To save your marriage, all you need if you want advice is to ask. Sometimes, you don't like what you hear and even some suggested alternatives for a marriage in trouble sounds ridiculous. Indeed some of them go against the norm. Keeping your marriage viable will require you to admit that there are things you should do and others you shouldn't. You are advised to do little things that exhibit your love and say I love you. You also know how to be communicate, be compassionate and also kind hearted.
| By healing a lonely heart that is broken and hurting, you could repair a marriage that is deemed to be fractured horribly through little mending. Often times, only a doctor can remove a big sore that is festered by a few things that go wrong in a relationship. There are effects attributed to the little thoughtless acts in a marriage and they should not be underestimated whether in a mature or newlywed couples. The day to day pressures of family and making a living can catch up with any marriage leading to the negligence of the most important person in your life and that is your spouse. Without including children, all work and planning will be worth nothing. A marriage that is fractured may need just a little attention.| Without being untruthful and dishonest to yourself, how is your marriage doing? Are you sleeping alone most of the time while your spouse spends most of his/her time sleeping on the couch?Do you feel like you would rather talk to a fence post since your marriage communication skills are suffering? How would you say a day in your marriage looks like? Do small and insignificant issues lead to arguments and yelling at each other? Do you find yourselves in a fully blown confrontation arising from problems no matter how small they are? Working things yourselves have not helped and things are getting worse with nothing seeming to be working.
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You can be stirred up by words in the right direction to accept reality although these words are not magic that can heal a failing marriage miraculously.Lack of interest in one partner will make the relationship hard to save if not possible no matter how much the other could be willing. Recapturing the old feeling in the relationship should be an effort from both parties since it will help in bringing the healing.
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There is what you need to do to win in all games as outlined by the goals that have instructions. You should seek to remain together as a goal for your marriage as you build a wonderful life for one another and for your family. The existing and the new family coming are what makes up a family. As long as you remain together as a couple, anything can be achieved easily and problems solved. |
It is however not very possible to release a harsh word that cuts deeply and then make it right or take it back. A hurt feeling can linger on mostly when caused by someone you really love. The old saying that implies that sticks and stones are capable of breaking bones but not the same case with words may not be true. Which words would be released by a husband who is wise if asked by his wife about how her dress makes of her appearance?Whether said in private or in public, the wrong thing is sure to harm a marriage or any relationship. There are a few things that can be mentioned here from the endless list of things that you shouldn't say such as I told you so, you are a failure and all you do is watch TV. Harsh words such as why did I marry you, you are so dumb, I hate your clothes, your hair is awful are among other things that can ruin a person's self esteem. You will keep your marriage if only you keep your tongue.
| Make use of quality time together.Though easy to assume that you do, keep an honest record of the time you spend with your spouse against how much you spend at work, with children, friends and doing household chores. The truth of the matter is that you could be surprised how one or both spouses feel neglected due to the little time you spend with them. learn to balance your time if most of it is spent with friends and in volunteer work. As a couple, take on these volunteer projects together and this way you will change these habits.Your relationship will be boosted by common goals which bring common interests.| It's okay to ask for advice as well as help. You should appreciate that you are not the only one who has ever suffered from a problematic marriage.Soon after your wedding, which maybe took place not a long time from now, all disagreements could be settled in the bedroom or kitchen table and everything was fine. Then from person to person, the blame started being hurled as it became slowly harder to talk to each other. The "D" word might soon become a consideration with the marriage cancer getting worse no matter what you are doing. Prior to this point in your marriage, seek help. From amongst the many available forms of marriage counseling, you must choose the one that is suitable for you and your spouse.
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When the repairs of a marriage begins early enough, it becomes easy to bring healing but many are not even aware of anything wrong that is happening.Many couples cannot even tell when their relationship is sliding downhill since they are so much carried away by their personal interests. It is unfortunate that many people get engulfed in their own personal interest to a point where they can notice when things are going bad. You can tell that a marriage is in trouble when one spouse starts talking of himself in singularity without the other partner in the picture. When a spouse starts concentration of self rather than on what is of interest to both of them, this can be a clear sign that marriage is in trouble.The desire to build the relationship also begins to fade away when one spouse seeks that which only satisfies them individually. The spouse will also start losing affection and even keep off from home even when there is no genuine reason for doing that these being clear signs of loss of interest in the marriage.
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Tolerance is one of the rules of marriage. Although some things will be enjoyable to see them being done, it is good to strive to tolerate those annoying things looking at them as unique personality traits rather than seeing them as character flaws. Just as easily as you accept the qualities, seek to love tolerate the flaws. Always seek to give some space and this way, you will make your marriage successful. This means giving each other the required private time in addition to having different closets. Being with someone you are learning to know is not easy mostly if you love them. This includes your family and friends alike.Keep your closet clean as far as the space in it is concerned. Don't travel alone, but make memories. Although it may be hard to take a trip together in a busy marriage, strive to do it. Fading sparks can be wonderfully rekindled by a change of scenery. As the worldly pressures seek to tear you apart from each other, you can remain glued to each other by the memories.
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There is an old advice that you should not go to bed while still angry. Some have however contended that it is not bad to go to bed while still angry. Sleeping clears your mind and allows you to have a better perspective about the problem when you wake up the following morning. You could decide to continue fighting while naked before sleeping. It may help you relax and the cause of your anger even disappear from your memory. Sharing the pleasant happenings of the day and the good noted of each other can also be used to spice up the advantage of not going to bed angry. This could work to your advantage to help lower the anger and set you in a more better atmosphere. You should love your spouse all the time even though you may not like them all the time.
| With meaningful and personal things, you should connects with each other every day. Some pleasures are simple but best such as a walk in the park. You can choose to dress up and treat it as a date, listen to music and sip on wine or even go for a concert or movie together.Together ride a bike or exercise together. You will be able to enjoy health and emotional benefits from some of these things.Communicate and talk with each other. Your feelings should be described on a regular basis.In your descriptions, be descriptive and creative. Be honest and rather than focusing on your thoughts do it on your feelings.Share both good and bad feelings. If at all you are apart, share your feelings in the emails. It may be harder to say them than writing them. More than saying them, writing them might be easier.| By receiving quality advice concerning marriage, you can regain the respect of your spouse and be able to deal with conflicts without physical and verbal abuse. The advice can also help in reaching agreements peaceably and curtail arguments since it can assist you in changing your behavior and also that of your spouse.It can also help you in avoiding an affair. There are many couples who begin with family and friends. The cost of their advice is worth it even though they mean well.Special insight into your marriage can be offered by your pastor assisting you with spiritual fulfillment.He might advice that you search your inner self in a quiet place, taking a retreat where you both get away from the daily humdrum of daily life.
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A marriage that has gone sour or is in the process will also be evidenced by lack of a desire to seek help.It will however take the two spouses for the marriage to remain afloat.The counseling must be accepted by the two partners willingly if it will help in mending the relationship. It will however be a daunting task for a partner who does not open up to you to discuss problems with a counselor.Mostly, when a marriage is steady and the love is still blossoming, the chances of ignoring small and petty annoying things are there. But when criticism becomes the norm in the conversations, there could be some danger roaming at the corner. Love and respect should remain constant even when values and commitment change.
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Try as much not to quarrel but instead make a comparison of your opinions and by this you will have a successful marriage. You should be considerate of the other's opinion even when arguments arise. Instead of pursuing heated arguments late at night, you will better sleep until morning to deal with it. Despite the fact that it is advisable not to sleep angry, things may at times look better when you wake up. Don't give ultimatum if you don't want it to be taken. Having interest in the dislikes and the likes of your spouse can help in making the arguments fewer.
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You should avoid taking each other for granted and the romantic rut too. Criticize less than how you compliment. There are thing you can find out to compliment in each other. Avoid assuming that your spouse made a mistake or is wrong.
|Give each other your undivided attention when talking. Restrain from watching television or flipping through a magazine. Don't criticize as you respond. Do hold hands and make eye contact.Even when you don't agree with all being said, be supportive and smile. Make your life glowing with romance again. Even if just passing, touch each other and hug frequently. Just as the it is said in the old song, "Give me your hand when I cross the street, say I look nice when I'm not." When it comes to healing lonely hearts, little things count a lot .|
In many towns, marriage support classes are offered along group therapy and marriage advice club. There are telephone counseling services available if you are undecided about exposing your mess in front of others.Marriages in trouble have video and audio tapes prepared to help them which you can also watch with your spouse. There are video and audio tapes prepared to help troubled marriages which you can watch with your spouse. There are couples who write love columns on magazines and newspapers for advice.
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Change in a partner can bring salvation to the marriage.The determination to rescue your marriage should help you concede no matter who is on the wrong or right between you. A change on the other person will be brought about when one changes.Being right and getting angry because you know it will not help in rescuing the marriage when you keep on being angry and fighting for it. There should be forgiveness from both sidesAccept to change and be changed. Seek help from counselors, clergy, friends and family if you are determined to make it work.Avoid being rigid and uninspired. Trying to prove that you are right might not bring a solution but seeking a workable solution will help. It is worth it to save a marriage.
}| Although the rules of marriage can change, it will be rare for people to change. The other person may not change but you can. It is the person who changes that ends up as the winner. Since you have the rest of your life together, you can build a happy marriage. It takes time.
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You should avoid making comparison of your marriage and the shortcomings of your spouse with others. When needed, give each other privacy and share all things including money and housework. The "D" word should never be used to threaten each other and probably should never happen.
| Declare your love to your spouse even if perhaps looking for different ways even learning a foreign language. If you find your marriage has become routine and boring, be more spontaneous.Drive to a nearby town to a romantic restaurant or take a trip on the spur of the moment and sneak a kiss when no one is looking. You can save a fractured marriage in a simple way, just get out of your own little world and be part of theirs.| The best help can also be found easily online. You will find various paths to save your marriage there. There are innumerable solutions in articles and eBooks where you can find help if you specifically identify where your problem lies. These eBooks can be obtained at a reasonable cost and read at the privacy of the home. They also cover almost all problems you might have.Marriage advice has been obtained through these preferred online help.Ask about their success rate in saving marriages and resolving marital problems by checking their credentials to be sure.Both basic and advanced will be available. You can begin alone if your spouse is not interested in seeking help and advice.Make marriage advice a consideration. Better save your marriage and lose a little time.
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